Fifty Shades of Taupe – A Funny Domestic Dispute
| By JP Danko | Pictures By Mom | Learn How To Take Better Pictures |
This week’s newsletter from Houzz.com gave me a good laugh when I saw the article “When Your Tastes Clash: How to Design and Decorate as a Couple”.
Couples and Home Renovations
Dawn and I are in the middle of a huge renovation of our entire home.
For the past week, we have been having an epic protracted battle over the right color of taupe to paint our main foyer and stairways.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia. And never argue with your wife over fifty shades of taupe.
Battle of the Foyer
On the one side there is me, and our very talented, and I might add – professional, designer Tami Grace VanDyke who represent the dramatic forces of dark taupe.
On the other side there, there is Dawn and our painter “Stan the man with the plan” (as he refers to himself), who fight for the drab, boring, ubiquitous legions of light taupe.
I Know What You’re Thinking!
Isn’t taupe just a greyish brown? Isn’t almost everything taupe colored? Can’t we all just get along?
And You Would be (Mostly) Wrong!
Ok – yes, taupe is a greyish brown. (But you probably think that white is white too.)
But, there is light taupe, dark taupe, greenish taupe, blueish taupe, purply taupe, orangy taupe, peachy taupe, poopy taupe….
Then there is taupe that is too brown, too grey, too warm, too cool, too heavy, too light….
And just when you think you’ve found just the right shade of taupe….oooooh no!
Because some taupes only look good in sunlight. Others look great with incandescent lights. Other taupes just look like garbage with those compact fluorescent light bulbs – OK, everything looks like garbage with compact fluorescent light bulbs – but that’s not the point!
The point is that all taupes are created equal, but some taupes are more equal than others.
A Good Taupe Is Like Fine Wine
Well not really – because its paint, and you can’t drink paint.
But, like wine, Dawn and I don’t particularly like the same wines on their own – but we do tend to like the same wine when it is paired well with a great meal.
And Dawn may have extraordinarily bad taste (in wine… and paint), but I have to admit that she is pretty good at finding delicious pairings.
So in return for signing over executive control of the foyer color, I am happy to say that I have negotiated a new cigar lounge in the basement – which I can paint any damn color I want (no not really – I’m sure I’ll pick the wrong color of taupe and cigars are bad for you…like motorcycles, sports cars, golf, skydiving, cheerleaders, large TVs etc.).
And the winner is…
Hell if I know – its #%@*ing taupe – they all look the same.
What’s Your Favorite Shade of Taupe?
Leave a comment below!